If any genius drivers out there find themselves at Illinois Route 176 and Green Bay Road in Lake Bluff, Illinois, watch out for this gobbler menacing the local motorists:
Wild turkey causes car accident - Chicago Tribune
If this turkey is still around at Thanksgiving time, it will probably be looking for a pardon from the president.
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
What is This Generation Coming To?
Usually when you intend to rob someone (as I know from all the heist movies I've watched), first you plan out certain basic things:
Alleged robbers foiled by manual transmission - The Pitch
Maybe someone will teach them how to drive a stick while they're in prison? (sorry, couldn't help it)
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
- what you're stealing
- whom you're stealing from
- how you're going to do it
- how you are going to get away
Alleged robbers foiled by manual transmission - The Pitch
Maybe someone will teach them how to drive a stick while they're in prison? (sorry, couldn't help it)
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Please Brake for Jesus
Not all fender-benders are caused by genius drivers, of course. Every now and then, a genius hops out of his driver's seat, pulls off all his clothes, and runs down a highway yelling that he is Jesus.
Police: Naked man 'yelling he was Jesus' caused I-95 accident - The Hour
Look for this genius to make another appearance ('second coming' if you will) on this blog if and when he gets done with his jail sentence/treatment program.
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Police: Naked man 'yelling he was Jesus' caused I-95 accident - The Hour
Look for this genius to make another appearance ('second coming' if you will) on this blog if and when he gets done with his jail sentence/treatment program.
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Friday, June 4, 2010
One Way to Avoid Paying Tolls
Since I have too weak of a stomach, I have made it my unofficial goal not to post stories to this blog where people are seriously injured or killed -- unless the story is just too intriguing, or the lesson learned too important. Fortunately this story includes a 'happy' ending where the driver escapes serious injury not only from jumping a toll booth, but also surviving the landing, and the ensuing fireball. Not that she was sober enough to notice...
First, check out this great article, video, and pictures of the aftermath:
This Is Not How You're Supposed to Fly Out of Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport - Dallas News
When I saw this video, all I could think of was how fast she must have been going. I mean, look at it, the video is only 12 seconds long, and she's not even in frame for half of it. Think about what your guess would be as to speed, height, distance in the air, and hang time, and compare to my estimates below. I'm no expert at analyzing video or identifying vehicles, but here's what I've calculated:
The white coupe she passes (one lane farther away from the camera) looks similar to a late model Toyota Corolla, which is about 14 feet long. In the closest to a full second as YouTube will let me pause at, the vehicle travels more or less five times the length of that neighboring vehicle, or 70 feet in on second. That only turns out to be 45 mph, which is surprising to me. Does it surprise you? Granted, these are all extremely rough estimates of length and time, but based on them, the math is at least accurate. I even consulted Wolfram|Alpha for the projectile path calculation, as I didn't trust myself to handle it myself.
The angle of the ramp makes a big difference in trajectory, or course. Having given all of my protractors away to the local needy children's protractor charity, once again I had to best-guess it. The ramp is basically a right triangle laying on the side opposite the right angle. I can clearly see that the angle opposite the takeoff angle is definitely more than 60 degrees, which would form an imaginary equilateral triangle. I'm going to say it's 70 degrees for the purposes of this calculation, but it could even be more. The takeoff angle definitely appears that it could be 20 degrees, which is the result of some geometrical postulate or something that I've long since forgotten in the nearly 20 years since I was in 8th grade. All I know is that the angles of a triangle add up to 180 degrees, and 180 - 90 - 70 = 20. This, then, is the 'best-case scenario', with lower takeoff angles resulting in less impressive outcomes. But who cares about being conservative with our estimates.
As you can see above, 45 mph at 20 degrees provides a pretty impressive flight path, although the lady probably should have cleared it with the tower first. According to this, she traveled up to 87 feet, with maximum altitude of nearly 8 feet, with a hang time of 1.4 seconds. WOW! I would not have expected that kind of distance at such a relatively slow speed. How lucky that no one was in her landing zone, and that she escaped the resulting inferno!
By now you have come to expect more than math from me on this blog, so here is the lesson:
Anyone can be Evel Knievel, but that doesn't mean everyone should try to be.
...and even amazingly dumb drivers catch a lucky break every once in a while.
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
First, check out this great article, video, and pictures of the aftermath:
This Is Not How You're Supposed to Fly Out of Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport - Dallas News
When I saw this video, all I could think of was how fast she must have been going. I mean, look at it, the video is only 12 seconds long, and she's not even in frame for half of it. Think about what your guess would be as to speed, height, distance in the air, and hang time, and compare to my estimates below. I'm no expert at analyzing video or identifying vehicles, but here's what I've calculated:
The white coupe she passes (one lane farther away from the camera) looks similar to a late model Toyota Corolla, which is about 14 feet long. In the closest to a full second as YouTube will let me pause at, the vehicle travels more or less five times the length of that neighboring vehicle, or 70 feet in on second. That only turns out to be 45 mph, which is surprising to me. Does it surprise you? Granted, these are all extremely rough estimates of length and time, but based on them, the math is at least accurate. I even consulted Wolfram|Alpha for the projectile path calculation, as I didn't trust myself to handle it myself.
The angle of the ramp makes a big difference in trajectory, or course. Having given all of my protractors away to the local needy children's protractor charity, once again I had to best-guess it. The ramp is basically a right triangle laying on the side opposite the right angle. I can clearly see that the angle opposite the takeoff angle is definitely more than 60 degrees, which would form an imaginary equilateral triangle. I'm going to say it's 70 degrees for the purposes of this calculation, but it could even be more. The takeoff angle definitely appears that it could be 20 degrees, which is the result of some geometrical postulate or something that I've long since forgotten in the nearly 20 years since I was in 8th grade. All I know is that the angles of a triangle add up to 180 degrees, and 180 - 90 - 70 = 20. This, then, is the 'best-case scenario', with lower takeoff angles resulting in less impressive outcomes. But who cares about being conservative with our estimates.
As you can see above, 45 mph at 20 degrees provides a pretty impressive flight path, although the lady probably should have cleared it with the tower first. According to this, she traveled up to 87 feet, with maximum altitude of nearly 8 feet, with a hang time of 1.4 seconds. WOW! I would not have expected that kind of distance at such a relatively slow speed. How lucky that no one was in her landing zone, and that she escaped the resulting inferno!
By now you have come to expect more than math from me on this blog, so here is the lesson:
Anyone can be Evel Knievel, but that doesn't mean everyone should try to be.
...and even amazingly dumb drivers catch a lucky break every once in a while.
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Drunk Driver Should Have Put Pants On First
If there's one rule of thumb in breaking the law, it's 'don't be seen'. Most ne'er-do-wells try to stay under the radar, and not attract too much attention. Driving around stark naked while three sheets to the wind is, shall we just say, a little obvious.
Police Say drunken driver was naked - Chicago Tribune
Next time, at least put some drawers on...think of the children!
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
Police Say drunken driver was naked - Chicago Tribune
Next time, at least put some drawers on...think of the children!
Got a story or photo of a Genius Driver? Send it to blog (at) metamorphilia (dot) com.
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